love

This is not a traditional post for me. Reason being, I'm usually a smart...butt...on this blog and talk about fun trips or things that I want. Another reason is because of how this relationship is...it's not all mushy gushy, showy, flashy. This post is not about something I want but about something I already have. Recently I have been shown things I truly appreciate in a person and a relationship. Anyone I've ever been with has always been very possessive over me or selfish or there is a slight disregard for my ambitions. Now that someone has shown me the opposite, I find myself in disbelief and I don't quite know how to handle it. I now find that sometimes I'm holding myself back...not some significant other, which is weird because it's never been that way before. It is that person who now pushes me to go for something better and something I've worked hard for and deserve, even if it means a strain or sacrifice. At first it bothered me...and now I just appreciate it and I am thankful. I believe from the bottom of my heart that this is the truest, healthiest and most down to earth relationship I've ever been in. Different for sure and at times frustrating, but fun and spontaneous and challenging (in a good way...i hate to be bored) at the same time.

I know the family has been worried about me and I haven't communicated much about things to anyone...not because i don't feel i can share, but for once I want to figure it out on my own, without running for help. I now think I'm getting a healthy balance...talking and discussing, but still doing it on my own. I know I am a difficult person to handle at times and can be completely emotional and irrational but I truly appreciate the people closest to me for putting up with it and I hope to make up for the idiosyncrasies I dish out.

Love is an amazing thing and I am beginning to see what it truly looks like.